Let’s make something clear – I am not the girl that has successfully mastered the art of dating .I love it when two people have chemistry ,hold their hands in town , share a packet of Mazhanje and wear matching outfits.
One thing I’m not okay with is setting my pants on fire coz of the lies I told. Though many guys I’ve dated do not and may never recall what the girl they made out with ate for dinner – I will never forget. In the interest of saving my bohemian pants I have some confessing to do .
I have sat across guys on dates and wondered what their fantasies were .Mine always involved them really liking me on the first date ,staring at my Vaseline clad lips and me playing the distant ,can’t-figure-her-out girl they couldn’t quite get enough of . In reality it was more about me trying to remember everything my friends had told me about “getting a guy to like you ” . So since I am writing this to clear my conscious and admit to being immature and insane ,Please don’t judge me -I am now a little older but still immature.
Lie I Told “I work out everyday”
The Truth : I tried to work out everyday but I just never had the time to do so .The only workout I got to do was the tossing and turning I did every night (it counts right?)
Lie I Told “I hate flowers”
The Truth : I wanted him to buy me flowers but he didn’t believe flowers were romantic
Lie I Told “I am not a crier ! This movie is just sad but I won’t cry”
The Truth : Ran to the bathroom and cried myself a river
Lie I Told “I’m not really that hungry ….”
The Truth I am always almost hungry but i wasn’t about to let him text his friends that “Ndokara” . Truth be told ,I went home and ate a whole burger and 4 spicy wings (yum).
Lie I Told “You don’t have to call me everyday”
The Truth I would stare at my phone and get pissed that he didn’t call me and I couldn’t tell him and look like a psycho .
Lie I Told “I don’t like Killer T’s music ”
The Truth I liked his music and secretly sang along to his songs
Lie I Told “I don’t mind your man boobs ”
The Truth I secretly hated the fact that they were bigger than mine
I might have left out a few lies but for today I am done . If I dated you and you reading this aren’t you glad that you not with me anymore ?