Posted in Love

Going Crazy Waiting

I may be writing this after 3 glasses of wine, but hey, to each his own.

I’ve read Psalm 37:4 thirteen times .Yes ……thirteen times. In Shona and English .This verse is the shizzle .I don’t give a hoot if it was written a long time ago .It is the most empowering piece of literary mastery I’ve read, especially with Valentine’s fast approaching and I am having fifty shades of FOMO on the love train.

If you anything like me with over three years of experience of being single on what is deemed to be the greatest day for all the roses (white, red or yellow) and chocolate, you are seriously doing yourself a huge disfavour and will probably end up having ice cream and wailing at The Notebook .Okay …possibly that was a little dramatic …but seriously, you need to read this to feel a little hopeful.

It finally occurred to me that I have spent most of my life waiting. I have waited for my results to be published, for my pizza order and the worst wait is that elevator at Joina that hates me. It’s never there when I am. I sometimes feel like it waits for me to take the stairs and then it shows up *sigh* and I don’t know why it hates me so much.

The hardest wait so far has been waiting ‘for the one’ –like where is this fella and does he even pray for me? I pray for this guy so I hope he at least whispers a one liner in his prayers for me .So it’s no surprise that sometimes I want to scream at the youth pastor when he shouts out “every Ruth needs a Boaz and your Boaz is on his way” like can’t you see that 40 year old that has served in every department at church and she is still single. I can’t imagine how she feels when other young women pitch for church one week and the next they are married.

It happened and some girls actually moved to a different church coz of that like sometimes we need progress  in life .

Some girls have prayed their whole lives for a husband, and he hasn’t shown up. They’ve heard the advice to “be the woman God made you to be, focus on that, and then the husband will come.” They’ve read “the bible (front to back),” gotten super involved in church and honed their domestic skills.

And still they wait.

And still I wait .

I am still waiting and kissing a lot of frogs on the way (don’t judge me) so I get their frustration. My impatience brought Mr X who was quite a catch and almost potential bae but what’s the deal with the baby mama and the friend that can’t stand me *eye roll*, Mr S who does this weirdly cute things for me but can’t stand having one girl and Mr L who pops in my life when a girl breaks his fragile heart.

I know I haven’t talked about Mr X, L or S but don’t worry I’m going to rant sooner than expected (don’t hold your breathe).

Will waiting ever get easier or will he show up when I least expect him? I sometimes feel that I am going to leave home one  morning a normal twenty something and arrive at his heart’s doorstep, a wrinkled and badly dressed old cougar. When he asks me what happened, I will say, “You took your time.”

Featured image

3 thoughts on “Going Crazy Waiting

  1. Loved your post! If it helps, you are not alone lol.
    I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I used to feel the same way until I realized, more than anything I was the one that wasn’t ready. I didn’t think so at the time but if God had sent someone when I hoped, I would have messed it up. Now I’m inspired by stories of others who waited and God answered their prayer. For example you can check out a spoken word piece called “I will wait for you” by Jannette…Ikz. When she performed it, she didn’t know it at the time, but her husband to be was in the audience.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s