Posted in Love

The struggle with doing a ‘Number 2’ at bae’s place

The beginning of  any relationship is a natural high beat .You guys can’t take your hands off each other .You constantly texting each other .You’re drunk in love and you want to constantly see him .You have the ‘cookie’ like it’s a closing sale (that extreme huh?) .You know what each other likes ,what they hate and what they ate last night  and you definitely know what will get them screaming (the right way that is ) .

The ride gets interesting when you begin feeling secure around each other and every time you go to his house you can pee with the door open . Things get awkward when you begin to get comfy and start allowing yourself to do the ‘number 2’ at his bachelor pad or cottage (not judging ).

A friend did that -she got so comfortable and ate a whole pot of mac and cheese and nature decided to call .Nature is kinda that sneaky girl that doesn’t call you with the usual but surprises you with the private number so they can shock you and give you a mini heart attack.

She tried to hold it in till she couldn’t do it anymore .And boy,did she light up that little room like fire works on New Year’s Eve.  Her mistake -leaving her perfume in her bag to hide the stench that was coming from that little room .She created beats that would have made any respectable DJ want to hire that drum player  that creates such .I reckon if she was wrapped in black plastic the waste collectors would have dumped her with last night’s trash .

She texted me in the middle of her ordeal and as much as I tried to console her ,there wasn’t much I could do.I have always told her to avoid the ‘number 2′ before the sixth date coz I have braved through her missions and I have been bruised (don’t get me wrong,I love her ).

Just as much as the garbage has to be collected we all have to get rid of a little waste .We can’t control what our bodies do but we can control what we do about it .So I am sharing my two  natural habits that can be okay but not necessarily when you still in the newbie couple stage  :

Farting : Sometimes it happens accidentally .If it does ,just laugh it off and avoid looking at him for like 3 minutes or so .But if you are a having a bad day post very intense spicy food ,calm that tummy and leave before it gets awkward .

Number 2: Nature calls which is crazy and very natural.If you are going to be loud then I suggest you turn on the shower or play music (coz it’s natural to do and music calms you down ). Smell on the other hand is hard to conceal ,you can take a page from my friend who always uses the line ” Babe ,is someone working on the drainage outside?”

How do you nail doing a Number 2 at bae’ s place ?

Note : I am not a dating expert ! These are just my thoughts 

Image via Metro.co.uk

4 thoughts on “The struggle with doing a ‘Number 2’ at bae’s place

  1. Oh my gosh!!! I died!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
    Here’s a piece of advice I’ve heard. Carry a box of matches with you. When you’re done with the number 2, light a match and let it burn for a while. It gets rid of the stench.

    😂😂😂😂😂

    Like

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