Posted in Fiction

Harare’s Matchmaker 2

Harare’s Matchmaker Chapter 1B

I kept smiling while my thoughts wandered aimlessly to the man that was sitting in front of me .Very few people entered my office and dominated it in all its femininity .I wondered what had brought this gorgeous man into my office and before I could daydream further I felt a little tap on my arm that jerked me straight into real life.

I gave a slight smile and said “Matchmakers tend to do a  pre-meeting meditation Tonderai”. I lied my ass off not that I could afford to lose a part of my behind or could think of a single African woman that meditated in the workplace. “My name is Nneka Natalie Sibanda and I will be your main contact at 263 Connection .263 Connection aims to connect you with the love of your life and your happy ever after while meeting all your stipulated requirements” I said, just as I noticed him glance at his watch.

His watch alone looked like it cost half of my closet not that I was complaining about the local Kotamai which was serving me drool worthy clothes since 2014. He lifted his eyes to meet me and I swear my breathing would have shocked my doctor into giving me a bed for the night and I am pretty sure my lips involuntarily parted .Gosh, this man was igniting fires in the Sahara desert .

“I don’t like to waste time Nneka,” he said in his deep hoarse voice lathered with a British accent, while staring deep into my eyes. ‘I would like to be matched with a young woman between the age of 24-28 ,university educated with a stable job  and knows a thing or two about dressing up and she has to be open to going to church’ He then pointed to his watch . “I look forward to hearing from you’

And with that he was gone, now talk about a guy that values his time. Where was I going to get a Black woman with a body like Bella Hadid and Sheryl Sandberg’s brains in a concrete jungle that is Harare .This man was either going to end my career or he was going to be the reason I finally joined Christian Mingle .


                                                                    Chapter 2


My boss was going to kill me.

Maybe I am exaggerating a little but this match was going to be the death of me .Things were not looking good at the moment no matter how I tried to look at it. For some reason I kept seeing Tonderai and me together .Weird right? I usually didn’t care for the guys that showed up to my office and trusting me to match them with their one true love like a black fairy godmother minus the wings, the glitter and the English accent. I dropped down on my knees for a short prayer of sorts to help me compose but maybe I just needed to hit the road and see my mother.

“Maidei!” I shouted for my assistant, who marched into my office like a sixth grader caught copying in the final year exams. How she managed to carry herself like a sixteen year old when she was nearing twenty five puzzled me. My head smacked the top of my desk when I tried to look at her.”Ow!”

“Ma’am are you okay ,” my assistant asked me ,staring into my eyes as if she had suddenly gotten a medical degree from the university of Zimbabwe medical school and her secretarial diploma had disappeared into thin air. I seriously need to stop watching Cartoon Network for crying out loud, my thoughts were becoming a little too dramatic for my liking.  “Ma’am, should I get you something?”  She asked quite concerned. I gently rubbed the small lump already growing on my scalp and said “May you please get me the profiles of all the single women in our database that have a university degree, drivers licence and are affiliated with a religion”

“Argh!” she mumbled and I gave her my don’t-even look that I reserved for my naughty nephews and in this case my ever grumbling assistant.  She rolled her eyes as she shook her non-existent booty at me.

Sometimes I didn’t even know how I tolerated her but she was the most effective assistant in the history of assistants and she always had juicy gossip up her sleeves. One time she got so drunk and spilled all her embarrassing moments including that one time she slept with her friend’s dad thinking it was her friend’s brother. As much as I wanted to dwell on my tell-tale assistant, I had to focus on work. I have been on pins and needles ever since a rival company opened its doors a few weeks back .Before Kubatanidzwa we were the only matchmaking company in Harare and I was determined to remain on top of the matchmaking business one way or another.

I needed to go out tonight and dance my behind off or maybe I just needed a good rom-com to help me get over the loser of a guy that I called my ex-boyfriend. I hadn’t thought of him in well over 3 hours maybe because a certain pair of hazel eyes were claiming resident of my mind. I picked up my handbag, ready for a night out with the baddest drunk in H-town –my day one and drunk and dial GF Sithembiso.

I quickly scribbled a note to my assistant notifying her that I needed that list on my desk at 8am without fail and left the 263 Connection building like any normal millennial leaving her workplace except that I didn’t drive and I didn’t own an I-phone.  Harare doesn’t have subways and cool buses so I have to deal with the trek to the Kombis and bump shoulders with sweaty perverted guys sometimes but sometimes I shared a seat with a normal mum or the super touchy couple that have more tongue work than my dog has runs.

I had a feeling that something was going to unravel tonight and mistakes were going to be made. I have never had a successful break over that didn’t result in me being happy or with a smile on my face. Maybe tonight was the night I would try to wear my crop top and a little lipstick …….




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