“It’s not you it’s me”
I know you hate this phrase .I hate it even more. Mostly, because it’s a lie we use when we want the next person to feel better -even when there was zero chemistry .Sorry,but if I am not calling you or drooling over your naked body and choosing you over and over again -I am not that into you .
I am not feeling unapologetic about not being into you .My mummy tried to set us up and it didn’t work ,my Gogo bribed me into spending time with you and I still hated you . My body couldn’t stand you ,my mouth hated your taste and my eyes kind of thought you were easy on the eyes (not Idris Elba easy but just easy ) . Before you cry yourself a recipe or a hit song this is why I am not that into you :
- You are a despicable VEGETABLE! Growing up I never saw cartoons about spinach leaves saving the day neither did you show up on my plate with a huge chunk of meat . What’s up with you showing up on my plate in heaps and looking like a fella with a bad hair day ?
- I tried you in a smoothie and I failed to finish a glass ( what did I ever do to you?)
- They told me if I gave you a makeover you would turn out to be Prince Charming -so I added cream to your delicate features (in your defense I might have done it wrong )
- My doctor said you were good for me but I have been a rebel all my life (why start being good now )
- You seriously hate my gardening skills or is it because you are shy that I stare at you everyday willing you to grow .
So as we stand ,I am just not that into you (Kinda!) but I am willing to give you a chance if you court me properly like the gentleman you are .