Posted in Life

My Happily Never After (Kinda!)

” If an alien ship was to land on our planet and completely take over this beautiful planet, would you notice if I was gone?”

“Yes! We will be stuck together, riding shotgun on an alien ship” my ride-or-die said.

I was thirteen when I asked my ‘ride and die’  that question *so embarrassed* and like a total idiot, I believed them when they said they would ride shotgun with me on some creepy alien ship *sci-fi movies ruined me*.

The maiden ship finally arrived unexpectedly one Saturday morning and I was riding shotgun by myself and crying my eyeballs out (that happens?).

I didn’t want to be that girl.

That girl who sat on her bed sobbing over a broken heart.The girl who sets the table for one and the girl that has no plus one to a wedding. But I am that girl! I went through one of the hardest trials of my life recently. I was one tear away from running dry, one word away from silence and my ‘almost’ perfect life crumbled right in front of me.

My dad fell ill one perfect Saturday and that was a hard blow (my dad has always been superman-he never gets ill ) and two days later I followed suit. To be honest, I felt like I was about to sign out of life with no likes and no retweets.  I was in pain and I was sad. How did my ride-or-die not notice that the emoji factory was out of order ? How could someone not see that I wasn’t available?  I went through my ‘alien abduction’ by myself and it was scary AS FUDGE (I didn’t swear mom).

One ‘friend’ kept asking to borrow money and she has been at it for a few days now despite me telling her that I wasn’t well. All her messages were “Have you managed to go to the bank”, “Have you sent the money”, “can you ask your mom to send me?”. That was a devastating blow to my fragile heart.

Talk about riding shotgun!? They never cared to check on me *sob* and it was devastatingly hard to digest. I felt like I was eating one of my brother’s cookies (they are bitter and hard FAM) and I was running out of Halleluyah’s. There was an ache in my heart but I was focused on getting better and my dad.

That ache was shortlived when the only person (kinda) on this planet noticed that I hadn’t talked about my dogs in a while (hours she means) or sent a hilarious meme in a while that she embarked on a search and rescue mission. My grandmother will always be the greatest love of my life 😢 She kept checking on me (like every 30 minutes) and got heir girlfriends to pray for me. She totally has squad goals *Go Nana😍*.

As hard as that season was for me, God brought me through it. Life will give you unripe avocadoes🥑🥑 and it’s up to you to make Guac. You can only truly know who is riding shotgun with you on a sunny day and in the middle of a tornado when you are in both extreme conditions. This experience taught me that the golden rule is still valid now as ever. You can’t hug a cactus and expect not to be wounded in the process.

But my heart is grateful for some fairies -Nyarie (you constantly checked on me😘 ), African Melanin( the only person that calls me nunuberry and my separated at birth twin that slides into my DMs with LOLs and heartwarming stories🤗), Thandie (oh love-you were going through the most but you were there😘) ,Mufasa (the Zimbabwean lion king *LMAO* you were worried like a lion can worry but you warmed my heart shem) , Glazed Dhonanzi (you have a name right? LOL . Thank you for the prayers) and he-who-shall-not-be-named *Thank you* .

When life hands you Avocadoes make Guac 🥑🥑

Till next time…

featured image:Stokpic


4 thoughts on “My Happily Never After (Kinda!)

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