I am such a disappointment to good girls everywhere.
But gosh, it was better than a day trip to the National Museum. His hazel eyes stared into my brown eyes daring me to say no but the second he kissed me I was gone. His breath tasted like Crystal mints he probably bought from Mai Chipo’s tuckshop for 20c ( dayum this boy wants to be the end of my good girl days) and his hands caressed my back and I just stood there like a 50-year-old fossil stuck in a museum.
I swear at that moment birds chirped and a James Chimombe track played in the background . The irony of it all! It was 2018 and the song I wanted to be played during my first kiss in my head was a golden oldie 🙉pity me already.
I wanted everything he was giving even if it was for 15minutes or 5 minutes-who cared? I was getting some tongue action with the hottest boy in my class and my braces didn’t care. This was my first kiss and it awakened every sensory nerve in my body and it made me feel like a real woman (when does one become a woman actually? ).
When it ended I wanted to grab him and puppy dog him for more but I couldn’t because nobody did that at all. He didn’t realize it but this kiss meant the whole world to me but to him, it was just another weirdo that he got to kiss. You probably think I must be cool if I got invited to a pool party.
Nope! I am that girl that sits at the back of the class that never says anything unless the teacher calls her name, the girl that carries a lunchbox full of fatcooks and who until five minutes ago had never been kissed. Ugh, how did I become another teen movie cliche? This is what happens to girls that miss church two Sundays in a row and accidentally copy the class nerd in the biology in-class test
The only reason I was at this party was that the whole class was invited and it was supposed to be our senior year get together. If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have been invited and I would still be the same ordinary girl my mother prayed I was. And this party was boring till a few minutes ago when I followed a boy into a closet because I wanted to be the cool black girl that watches teen movies on DSTV. Truth be told, I watch Cartoon Network more.
Were my lips swollen? Could people smell my innocence disappearing Did I actually close my eyes? Now we will never know because my brain had temporarily shut down. I looked at him ready to smile his eyeballs off only to be met with a guy popping a minty gum into his mouth and taking selfies of his perfect jawline and where those muscles real?.
He smiled at me as he walked out and I followed behind him like a brainwashed minion with only one instruction “Fo”.w “.I watched him immerse himself into his squad while I went to join my tribe who was snoring so loud in the back of Tafadzwa’s car. This was where I belonged, right!?
Why didn’t no-one care that I had spent the last few minutes getting kissed after a game of spin the bottle. This was a big deal! Black girls don’t randomly go to parties especially pool parties (98% of my class can’t swim) and kiss a boy and casually move on with life. Who does that? But they didn’t care, except Tawanda’s girlfriend.
Gosh I was one of those uncool kids in the movies that ate their lunch near the trashcan but in my case I was the girl with the friends that just didn’t fit in to the private school box…..