She had been single for four months when…
…..Casper the friendly ghost came crawling back. Do you remember Mr-Holier-Than-Thou? You do right! We met Casper the friendly ghost last year and girl he was a handful.
Actually, she wasn’t celibate the whole four months after the friendly ghost, there was Big Billy, Smelly Sam and Five seconds Farai. When she told me she was single, I knew what she meant. Her body was in a relationship but her heart was in a hospital waiting for a heart transplant. She told me she couldn’t date anymore, her heart wasn’t ready too but I knew what she meant: she was holding on for Casper like a ghostbuster at midnight in a dark room.
We had made progress (kinda!) when he showed up. He was dripping in chocolate (so she says) and he was making amends (*eye roll*) to everyone he hurt. Can you believe this guy? Casper sold her a story of how he had taken a Solo Trip to Muzarabani on an Eat, Visit and Pray mission. While immersing himself with herding cattle and chasing chickens around, he had found himself. She believed his sob story *sigh* and I bet as she caressed those callous hands in admiration and love he was just thinking “Bish I Am Back For Round 2”.
She hid it from everyone including me until Armageddon. The girl was crazy about him (still is) so she splurged on him once again but she kept her legs closed (that lasted for two days) and she gave in. Mr. Found-Himself started pitching early to church, serving in the church and writing love letters (pretty long ones to her) and traveling more. She was smitten and ready for the ring *freaked out face* but a chicken will never fly no matter what.
He wasn’t hiding his appetite for the forbidden fruit and she wasn’t saying ‘Nah fam’ to the call of nature. They were madly in love and she wasn’t bothered about his disappearances again after all he had found himself. She probably thought after all that action, he needed time to pray and fast his appetite away. But she was wrong *sad face*
A month into lover’s paradise, two random girls appeared (at different times) pregnant with his baby. Now one I can understand that he probably banged someone on his journey but two I can’t explain them away. All I remember is her crying over the phone while narrating her story and me thinking ‘wow this can’t be happening’.She was devastated and her faith in love (Thanks a lot RomComs) was destroyed.
It turns out Casper was banging a total of 7 girls and they all found out that he pretty much took them to the same spot, said the same things and would randomly ghost them. I wish it had ended well, but you can’t fight ghosts you can’t see -can you? I guess we can conclude that Casper didn’t find anything except his appetite.
In case you are wondering, my friend, found herself again. She is singing and praying her way through Israel at the moment. We managed to convince her that she wasn’t a ghostbuster (yay).
Have you ever been ghosted? Comment below and let’s talk about that mean human over coffee.
Featured image: Columbia Pictures