Once upon a time, I was bored to the last comma on a Saturday night (you probably thinking what?), my nonexistent social life had come calling and I was sipping wine, reading Sophie Kinsella and Thai sweet chili (pardon my french) my sister was listening to some Marvin Gaye funny enough, it was the background music my solitude needed. Now the thing about good things is that they don’t last, so the soothing ‘let’s get it on’ came to an abrupt halt when dessert arrived. Who ordered it? Does anyone know where I can get a three-course meal? No!? Yes!? Alright, so she left me with my imaginary bae sighing nonstop (could have broken a Guinness world record for sighing)
In my defense, I might have been baking some scones of sorts (I don’t remember) and I was planning to eat the whole tray (now that’s a new low). Was this the beginning or the end of an incredible unicorn? We will never know. So I decided to do what normal people do and go on social media. Now, I absolutely do not enjoy social media *please don’t shoot me*, before you call my therapist or your pastor hear me out.
My social media feed is people I care about (deeply) and so occasionally I like to show up and like their babies pictures (*ncaaww *), their kitchen decor and that in your-face-so-taken pictures all cuddled up with their main squeeze. But I wasn’t ready for social media this Saturday ( karma is badly burnt toast I tell you). I was met with vacation pics, teething babies, rock solid abs ripped to perfection (has anyone else forgotten that pizza is life?) and job promotions *woohoo*.
Gosh, don’t get me wrong, I am happy for my squad but I really do have SMFOMO (i just made that up (I hope) so if it means something sexual, I am sorry)-social media fear of missing out. I have no babies of my own to post (do dogs count), zero abs (i have an airbag of sorts) and definitely no glowing skin bikini-clad pics with a 1.7m chocolate work of art whispering who knows what in my ear *sigh* so I naturally went into panic mode.
Should I sign up for Christian Mingle (got to love a saved man) or should I start working out and eventually become an influencer? I spiraled out of control, and I spent the whole weekend thinking of where to get my social media post. To my friend’s babies, I am the aunt that signs Disney songs in a weird voice, to my friends I am Mary Poppins when they need to leave their babies for two hours, to social media I am not a hashtag.
Social media has brought so much pressure on me(or you) to be glowing, always happy and constantly feeling like you left behind. It can be too much, to be honest, I struggle with not feeling like I am failing when I absolutely have nowhere to go (my BFF is an introvert so she is always napping like a lot), or when I don’t get random gifts from people (looking after your baby isn’t?).
Maybe I should join my BFF on her no social media plan-girl can’t even tell a difference between a like or retweet. She is so content with having WhatsApp and her 30-minute YouTube Binge. Has social media ever made you feel like you just a hopeless failure? Comment below and let’s talk (there is a kettle on the stove if you prefer chatting over coffee)