Posted in Love

The Worst Relationship Advice Your Homies Are Dishing Out

Sometimes our friends give us the worst advice (right!?) when it comes to love and dating and today I am sharing the worst relationship advice I have ever received or overhead in the girl’s bathroom (LOL) *shakes head*. Comment below if you can relate…

  1. “Give him space the economy is affecting his happiness compass”

Can you believe that? I am not even employed (gainfully or should I say I am semi-unemployed) but I am happier than he is. Do RTGS dollars affect the way your lips work? Do I need to send him money for him to at least smile when he sees me?

2.Β “You scare him, sis, hold up on the feminist movement”

In the words of Rosa Parks “NAH” ✊. Why should he sulk ifΒ  I can handle hiking better than he does? Shouldn’t he be ululating and giving IG couple goals vibes by posting me looking flawless and him drippin’ sweat because he is good at other things eg cooking. I kid! He shouldn’t ululate because that is just so weird (imagine that) but should we fake not being better at other things because he is just being petty?

3. “Every man cheats turn a blind eye”

Come on! How does one turn a blind eye to a guy that is just too lazy to cheat with someone an hour from you but rather cheats with someone five minutes away from you? Why does he even cheat if he is bad at it and too lazy? Why cheat tho?

4. “Play dumb sis, no man wants a smart girlfriend”

I am pretty sure no guy wants a girlfriend that thinks Uranus is a country in AsiaπŸ€” I seriously cannot for all the doughnuts in Harare understand how my friend can ignore the fact that his girlfriend thinks Uranus is a country and Kazakhstan is a planet (but let’s move on, I am trying to get to heaven)

5. “Play hard to get and respond after 72 hours”

Someone, please explain to me how it can possibly take a sane human being 72 hours to respond to a hie. Who wrote this book? Can I have it, please? Thanks!

6.Β  “Maybe you should do squats because your man likes booty ?”

If he likes booty why isn’t he doing the squats then?πŸ˜‚ Tbh I don’t even know how to respond to this.

7. “He doesn’t have to know about your baby”

How do you plan to hide a whole human being? Can we get serious now?

8. “Have a baby he will stay”

Wrong!!!!!! The baby will stay alright but he might not.

9. “If you love him change for him”

I am not a martyr guys. I can’t quit bacon because he likes to have spinach on his toast (it’s yum by the way) all the time.

10. ” He wants you to be jealous so he is hitting on your friend”

Okay! I am done! Whatever people are smoking is way too strong

Can you relate? Rant below

2 thoughts on “The Worst Relationship Advice Your Homies Are Dishing Out

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