Posted in Koffeepionated

I Am Not James Blunt I Can’t Say Goodbye

I hate goodbyes šŸ˜­ and it’s not because of I ugly cry afterward but it’s because my heart can’t bear it. I thought I was now a full-fledged adult and I could handle goodbyes. But I am not šŸ˜– it was a postcard somewhere that said ‘ A can handle goodbyes’

I watched his hands’ caress mine in an effort to soothe me from wailing my heart out. I couldn’t believe he was leaving me. How could someone throw 4 years away like it was nothing? How could he leave me? I know he had valid reasons but I didn’t and couldn’t deal with someone new.

5 years ago we bonded over a line of code and became fast friends. We had an understanding and I saw him through some difficult moments and so did he. He even tried to play matchmaker with his friend and it didn’t work out (can you handle he had a glow up that screams temptation-the friend that is?) but he still stuck around even though it didn’t work out.

He gave me a shot when nobody would and believed in me when I was a Thomas. So can you imagine losing your biggest anchor, your friend to a situation that can be fixed with money? I don’t wanna say goodbye…Goodbyes are the hardest especially if nothing would ever match up to what you had. ..

I want to cry maybe I will feel better but I can’t. How do I say goodbye to someone I ain’t ready to say goodbye too.

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