I am scared to leave my house and NO it definitely not purge season. Thankfully the old man two houses down the road can’t get me for throwing a tennis ball through his window 15 years ago (that we replaced by the way ) but like the jolly good fellow in Dennis the Menace I am such a menace to him (hey Dennis can we be twins?) *sigh*.
I heard about Mary from my mother who heard it from my neighbor who heard about it from I have no idea who but yeah news travel. Apparently around 6pm Mary was robbed of her belongings and punched by the assailant (*sob*) at her gate. She tried to grab her bag and thus jumped on her assailant who dragged her a kilometer from her home still punching her *sigh*. I wish this was a bad draft from my bestselling book LOL but it’s not. This is my backyard- the place I call home. My neighborhood has become an Avengers scene when everyone hopes The Hulk will show up and defeat Thanos. I really don’t know which time is safe to move around anymore.
Just a few weeks back someone got robbed at 10am by a speeding silver runx, then there was some guy robbed at 1pm with men wilding machete and now Mary gets robbed at 6pm at her own gate. Should I become a recluse and stay home all day everyday till my neighborhood is safe? How did my neighborhood where kids roamed the streets by themselves on their way home, where 10 am was an amazing time to hit the tuckshop become the scariest person for this coconut?
I promise if this was a purge I would probably be hiding behind a ripped muscular hazelnut eyed fortress like the damsel hungry all the time I am. I am scared! I am terrified that things will only get worse. Should I get more dogs? Is an alarm system effective? Is Pepper Spray legal? What do you do when walking in your neighborhood becomes scarier than watching Jeepers Creepers?
*Mary, not real name*