I was 12 years old when I broke the girl code (*sigh*) and I regret everything about that day. You see, I bloomed late and at 12 boys were still gross and dumb (relatable right!?)…Here goes…
So the smart boy from the next class fancied my friend so he asked me to pass to her his “I Like You” letter because we were one of those kids that showed up at school at 7am and I planned to pass it along, to be honest, but that day we had a class test and it completely passed my mind till after the test when she got 12/50 that I remembered. She was bummed that she called me ‘smarty pants’ and ‘teacher’s pet’ because I got a perfect score. Instead of walking away like my Sunday school teacher taught me I pushed back with an ” if you stopped looking at Kingdom you could actually do well” you see, she was crushing on the not so smartest kid in class and she couldn’t stop looking at him. My biggest mistake was telling someone about my argument (at that time I didn’t know it was the school gossip) and by the time we got to Friday, everyone had a different version of what she was doing with Kingdom. When I heard about the rumor (not Adele’s rumor has it) I had the worst day of my life. I had an anxiety guilty diarrhea that I didn’t stay for agriculture club that afternoon and rushed home and sat on top of the toilet seat, crying, praying, writing. I felt like I was about to go to hell on the Express Ticket because I had wronged a friend.
I wanted to ask my grandmother if I was going to hell but I couldn’t. My grandmother had two rules “love all and hate no one” and ” treat others the way you want to be treated” and I hadn’t shown love so I wasn’t pumped for her wisdom. But she misses nothing and thus hunted me down and forced me (by giving me chocolate) to tell her what happened. I told her and she wasn’t happy but she told me what to do (she always teases me that I prayed the Lord’s prayer 45 times that night).
My grandmother made me write an apology letter, buy a Zadza dama for the girl that I wronged and made me march to school and confess my rumor. I didn’t defend myself because my grandmother was the judge and the jury and she found me guilty. I apologized and she forgave me but we remained friends only till we were 17 *sad face emoji*. That day was the day of reckoning for me. It was the genesis of my feminist movement *LOL* in my heart. I didn’t want to be that girl that took pleasure in another sister’s demise or sadness. I didn’t want to be that matchstick in a gossip fire (gossip is quite tasty) and I didn’t want to carry a load of jealousy because another sister is thriving and God is good but it’s not easy.
Every day I am inspired by my niece -she has so much love for everyone in her heart and she has never snitched on her naughty siblings even for chocolate. Talk about prayers answered!
The only rule (like should be in BOLD) that should be in the unwritten girl code is ” We can both win because we are all smart, funny and beautiful” (maybe scratch that!?)