In my head I am on a private jet to Honolulu to solve the mysterious disappearance of an ancient scroll clad in an Ankara jumpsuit and Crocs because nobody expects the lady with the enormous handbag to be the world’s most sought after detective after Sherlock Holmes , Nancy Drew, Precious Ramotswe and who else? I can’t remember .But instead of being on a private jet I am on my verandah watching my dog chase a butterfly , with binoculars in my hand and no I am not casually spying on my neighbor’s handsome son but rather I am bird watching. I have resorted to bird watching because
A) my nephew has for the last six days forced me to find Nemo and if I have to look for him for the seventh time they will be looking for Nemo and me.
B) I am tired of standing in a queque to pee like when did 4 people become 44 000 (okay you got me, it’s an exaggeration but still). What kind of person stays in the Jane for 30 minutes.
C) If my grandmother makes her pumpkin seed bread one more time I am gonna go on a bread strike because I have had enough of it for now
D) At which point did my lil sister become a walking encyclopedia? She randomly drops facts that make me feel smarter than a fourth grader.
Okay that’s what got me on this mission to bird watch and excuse me if my neighbor’s son randomly sits on the roof and plays his guitar. My binoculars aren’t complaining when they zoom in on that 4 pack of hot chocolate.
This particular brand of chocolate could be a figment of my imagination as a result of being stuck with the cheaper by the dozen family.