Posted in Simply Me

The Neighbors

Every community has its own secrets and mine is no different. We all walk around like we don’t remember what transpired on April 13 2020 but then again we should probably fake amnesia and give our best cherry plum smiles because pretending is all we are good at. There isn’t a single clipping of what transpired that day and truth be told one day some Nancy Drew wannabe is going to come digging in my town and open up a chest of worms and she is going to come to the library and ask for newspaper articles for that day and I am going to sip my tea and tell her to let “dead secrets stay buried”.

What happened on April 13 2020? Sit down and let me tell you about it .

I woke up for my morning stroll like I usually do oblivious that my day was about to change. I didn’t plan to go further than my gate because we were under lockdown. It started with a loud shriek and me having watched one to many movies ran back inside to get my phone *cringe*. If this was an alien invasion I was gonna call my pastor because this was it and I was signing out prayed up. What followed next was one for the books?

My neighbor’s were arguing and boi didn’t they throw curse words at each other like someone was throwing confetti. Now you would think he was caught red handed with a girlfriend or during a call but nope his only crime was not flushing his #2 . But we didn’t know at this time because they were at each other. The whole community came together in their gowns , shirtless and holding their tea cups to find out what had happened.

I was dumbfounded. The Chihwas have been married for only 6 months and they looked like the perfect suburban couple. Was a marriage on the rocks because the husband didn’t flush his lunch away? Is this how marriage works. At that moment with my jaw on the floor I wished I had finally started The Watcher -the neighborhood newspaper because this deserved front page coverage.

A whole community watched this unfold as noone could solve a number 2 fight. Had the lockdown forced a couple once deeply in love to quarrel over a mounting mass seated on his throne scented with Harpic.

I never want to talk about this day. I can’t believe that a couple fought over the #2 . But who am I to judge. Let me sip my tea in peace as I watch a whole community unravel.

 

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