Posted in OMG

#WinterABCDay 5 | Anger Management Class With A Crazy Lady

Good morning class , if you are not angry please proceed to close this TAB and get back to watching Insecure because this class will be a BORE to you.

Why am I here?

THis part >>>>

Judge Peckinpah: “Anger is a weed growin in our garden.”

Judge Peckinpah: “And what do you do when you find a weed?”

Judge Peckinpah: “YOU PLUCK IT OUT!”

Judge Peckinpah: “Mr. Red.”

Judge Peckinpah: “When you moved your house outside of our village did you notice that nobody tried to stop you?”

Judge Peckinpah: “Birds, they may smile at you on the street, but that doesn’t mean they like you!”

Judge Peckinpah: “Mr. Red.”

Judge Peckinpah: “Given the severity of the crimes, I have no choice but to impose the maximum penalty allowed by the law.”

Judge Peckinpah: “Anger management class.”

What you need to pass class:

a) humor

b) doughnuts and hot chocolate/coffeee

Before we begin class I need you all to remember that I am not Annalise Keating but this is Anger Management 101 and you are advised to take my lecture with a grain of salt*wink* Let’s begin class

What to do when the world tells you that booty is non-existent?

Sit down! Respond to the booty shamers by sitting down on the most comfiest chair or a brick (your choice!) and binge-watch TV because you and your BOOTY are enough and if you want to SQUAT do it for you and not the gram.

What to do when someone says you eat a lot:

Grab one more slice of pizza! Life is too short to eat one slice of pizza minus extra bacon *gasp*

What to do when someone says you are not pretty enough:

Tell them Cindrella’s sisters also thought they were pretty and if that fails tell them even a PIG thinks it’s attractive with that TAIL.

What to do when the world tells you that you don’t have enough followers to be an INFLUENCER:

Go to your subscribers list, look at the numbers, sip your coffee and write a blog post because believe it or not WE ARE ALWAYS READING YOUR BLOG/TWEETS

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS YOU ARE NOT COOL:

Ask them if they know Halsey and if they say yes scream ‘ME TOO'”*wink*

WHEN THEY ASK YOU WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED:

Smile and say “when my prince charming discovers that we now have cars faster than a horse/ when my princess discovers pumps are also comfy (glass slippers are cool too)

WHEN THEY COME AT YOU AND MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR:

Slap them in your head (I Kid) but love the meaness out of them.

I wish we could continue class but today I leave you with these nuggets:

a) All’s fair in squats and sleeping hours

b) Be unapologetic about who you are

c) Get ANGRY and do you BOO

9 thoughts on “#WinterABCDay 5 | Anger Management Class With A Crazy Lady

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