“you can’t give what you don’t get. If no one ever spoke to you, you can’t speak; if you have never been loved, you can’t be loving.” ― Bruce D. Perry, What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
Sometimes our baggage has a way of unzipping and pouring every unwashed linen, folded linen and socks that found themselves lodged in the creases.
For as long as I can remember I have trouble with taking pictures, with raising my hand and with understanding certain cues. I have often pondered on what will people post when I make it home and return to the dust I was made from as I have had wonderful moments with people but neglected to document around it. I am one of the few people I know who has never had a photoshoot *sigh*
Sometimes I want a do-over to everyone that has ever made me feel inadequate , hideous and a broken arrow but alas God never shoots broken arrows right!? The unfairness of life is not lost on me. Nothing makes a human tired than unlearning words, cues and past events. I love to meet new people make friends but alas I attract people that need a hug in season, a friend for a day and a listening ear. When the storm passes they leave me standing in the rain clutching a jacket that won’t call. So often I have asked ” God why did you make my heart tender and easily broken” , I wanted to be strong and fearless too.
This post is for everyone that has ever been subjected to the meanness of this world, I hope this reminds you that broken arrows are equally as piercing and that not everyday is equal.
Boy meets girl. Girl likes boy and boy decides he doesn’t like girl. That’s the story of my life.
For months I closed myself from love because love never picked up when I called and so I stopped calling because airtime ain’t cheap. When I decided to call back I fell for someone I had no business falling for because the heart wants what it wants. The conversations flowed easily and I was there on the other side waiting to glue the pieces of his life that needed to be glued in true Bobina the builder form. I thought he liked me not to blow my own horn but I am funny , smart , helpful and I put the A in amazing. I was just playing the helper role as always -not the princess that bags the handsome prince. Call me the Cind in Cindrella , the maybe in ‘ call me maybe’ and the helplessly waiting princess . How many prayers does one pray before they grow weary of waiting. I imagine myself at the bus stop waiting for the visitor that never shows up , hopelessly holding onto flowers that wilt with the Sahara sun as the days turn into weeks and then years. We had a date or three and I guess it was on the 3rd date that he decided that I was just not right for him. Maybe we try one more time ..
This post is for everyone that liked a boy but the boy never liked them back. I hope you know that you are still amazing.
How I wish I was a millionaire typing this blog post on a beach somewhere sipping’ coconut water *LOL* but alas I am staring at an open wallet wishing to pick Aladdin’s lamp so I can make 3 wishes that are useless and I will regret later. So kudos to me for me for finally reading The Richest Man in Babylon and these are the lessons I took from the wonderful book.
Don’t spead a tenth of your money
Every month I imagine my savings screaming Bish better have my money lol (thanks Riri for this power jam). It’s very important that someone doesn’t spend all their money and I am learning this the hard way. Always have savings for a rainy day because it wasn’t raining when Noah built an ark.
2. Have a Budget
You cannot walk around like a headless chicken with no budget or you will spend all your coins buying things you don’t need. Account for every bill you have to pay , everything you want to buy and everything you owe.
3.Owe nobody
This speaks to all mandatory payments and your tithes. Avoid unnecessary debt if you can help yourself .
4. Give your coins a job
You just cannot save only. Invest your money and grow it
5. Have an emergency fund.
One day it will rain and you do not want to be rained on so stay prepared and ready.
I have imagined this day so much especially in moments when I am so broke that I can’t even comprehend my bank balance. It’s so cliché to think I would change the world and not end up on an episode of I blew it but I have seen how I act with $500. I wish to build a library for kids and of course have a snack station and of course take myself to that long overdue vacation to Bali. Whatever I end up doing I hope it’s something I will love and have zero regrets over.
It’s been a minute since my last review and I trust you are well. It’s not a secret that I am an armchair sleuth when I am not working 8-5 (this is standard when I don’t have to work overtime but a girl can wish) but deep down I am a sucker for romance. I may have been born at the wrong time because nobody can argue that being courted with letters, horse rides and dances doesn’t seem quite dreamy. I will let that sink in for a bit *pretends to wait for minutes*. If nobody stops me I can babble for the duration of this post but we cannot have that can we?
Book Review: Firstly I am grateful to Entangled: Amara and NetGalley for my complimentary copy and all opinions expressed are entirely my own.
I had no idea who Marissa Clarke was going in but after I was done reading I wanted to send her a friend request, an email, and possibly wish upon a star that Michael B Jordan would also accidentally tag me *laugh out loud*. Accidentally Famous is perfect for fans who love a small town romance and fake dating which is pretty much me. This is a feel-good read that you will devour in a day because it’s that yummy. The book follows Jake a famous person (he is an action hero) and Cassidy James from a small town in Maine that does home remodeling. Their lives get turned upside down when Jack’s assistant accidentally tags Cassidy’s Instagram handle when she meant to tag his sister’s account with an inside joke from his movie with the caption “I’m coming for you, babe.”. This leads to the paparazzi losing it and of course her YouTube subscriber numbers going up. Jack’s manager has this crazy idea that they should ‘ fake date’ for two weeks because it’s PR but matters of the heart can’t be faked. It’s hard not to fall in love with Jack because he is swoon worthy and not corky *wink*. Absolutely recommend it if you are looking for a feel-good book.
What I liked about the book : The plot, the setting, the characters and someone take me to Maine *whispers*
Character/s I loved : Amanda, Cassidy and Jake
Character most like me: Cassidy
As a Christian would I enjoy this book? Yes!
Do you recommend this book? Yes! Buy it
Will you read more books by the author? Yes
Overall Koffee Read Rating: 4/5
Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @heyanci and IG @heyyanci and feel free to message me with a book review request.
Have you ever prayed for something then waited expectant of answered prayer then the waiting becomes three weeks, a month , a year and then it becomes too long for you to remember when you prayed? I have been there! I have prayed with words until no words could come out till only my tears were the only ones coming out. Having a prayer filled out life is not easy sometimes you lose faith and prayer.
“If you believe in prayer at all, expect God to hear you. If you do not expect, you will not have. God will not hear you unless you believe He will hear you; but if you believe He will, He will be as good as your faith.” – Charles Spurgeon
Today I am reminded that Prayer works and God works in mysterious ways because my dear aunt after 20 years 11 months she is finally with a bundle of joy. Don’t lose hope keep praying when the time is right the Lord will make it happen.
Today is that day where we make those dreaded resolutions and ensure our vision board has a color scheme . I wish I could say New Year New Me but I am the same old Anci with just a different calendar but I am a little wiser so my resolutions are simple this time around.
On health
I promise my doctor is not endorsing this but I am going to try to be intentional about my eating . I am going to try and reign in my sugar cravings (i have those a lot) and enjoy savory more than sweet because life is about balance right.
On reading
I am ready to red books that make me happy and books that I want to read and not because they are popular and on the bestselling book. The goal is to buy 24 books that are priceless and I will read again because the coins are to purchase quality only.
On self care
Self-care is not selfish and I hope to prioritize myself before people in 2023 . I hope I laugh more and often .
Above all I hope to just be happy and alas here is something humorous I plan to get married or engaged or to just basically date (LOL).
Oh mayn, just like that the year has come to an end. I wish I could say that I had a good reading year but I had hits and misses because girl was booked occasionally and busy with that 9-5 because the lights had to stay on right!? Before I get started here are fun facts about the 12 books:
Worst reading month : November (because I read a total of 3 books and that is 3 more than zero so I am good
Best reading month : August (16 books)
Most read genre: Non-fiction (okurrr that was unexpected)
African /Black author books in the top 12: 8 (yess girl)
Now let’s dig in on my best books of 2022 by month in a quirky way of course true to the Anci Way :
December 2022
Award : Made me cry my heart out
Mini Review:
There comes a time in one’s life when one read a book that completely puts one through myriad emotions of sadness, grief, and long sighs. Someday, Maybe is that book! I went into it not expecting to be haunted by it or thinking of it long after it was done.
Do you ever cry so deeply that every tear tears you apart? That is me with this book. Someday, Maybe tells the story of Eve who is left utterly devastated when her husband commits suicide on New Year’s Eve. His death opens the door to what comes after when one loses someone to death. We follow her as she navigates family, a mother-in-law, a career, and unexpected good news that doesn’t look like good news
Mini Book review: Oh mayn, this book was an eye opener and also had me questioning my money behavior. Highly recommend it
August
Award : Try new things, get a dog and eat pastry
Mini Review: The book follows obsessed with Jimmy Choo and never baked in her life Maddie Montgomery whose life takes a turn when her groom doesn’t show up to their Livestream wedding. Of course it’s gut wrenching but her life takes a turn when she finds out she has inherited a house and a bakery from her great Aunt Octavia. Her life quickly becomes interesting in the small town but when people start dying not even her 200 pound mastiff named Baby could keep her away from investigating. What a book! I loved everything about this book-the plot, the characters and of course the recipes. If you need a mystery that will leave you on the cliff then this is the one for you
We had two books in August as fav for control lol.
Award: Be a better human
Mini Review:This book is the cutest read ever and I want everyone to read it. The book has the mostly friendliest and well-mannered hippo and a little monkey that wants to share but sucks at it. However Bentley and the elephant teach the month on what sharing entails. It’s a perfect read on what sharing is and what it entails. I highly recommend it,.
May: The Masterpiece by Francine Rivers
Mini Review:
I miss Roman and Grace already. What a beautiful read about how God heals and how people are nothing but a pencil in the hands of the creator.
Best Associated with Cake because cake makes everything awesome
March: What’s Your Move by Nicolette Mashile
Mini Review:
Loved this and enjoyed how Nicolette Mashile shared snippets from her own life making it relatable.
July: An Unlikely Alliance by Toni Shiloh
Mini Review: I love a good enemies to lovers romance that includes dogs too. An unlikely alliance follows Jalissa and Jeremy who do not get along . The two nemesis are forced to work together when the mayor requests they do to save their respective programs. What could possibly go wrong? I enjoyed this book that also touched on trauma, grief and mental health . The plot is brilliant, the characters well developed and the dogs are just adorable.
January: You Got Anything Stronger by Gabrielle Union
Mini review: I don’t usually read memoirs but this one was different. In the book she tackles fertility/infertility, sexual assault and workplace drama
February: Looking Up by Abena Eyeson
Mini review: Enjoyed this debut novel by Abena that death with immigration ,faith,family and growth
November: A Nanny for the Rancher’s Twins by Heidi Main
Mini Review: A Nanny for the Rancher’s Twins is a friends to lovers and second chance romance between a wedding and event planner (Laney) and Ethan (a cattle rancher). Laney moves backs home to her Aunt’s and Uncle who have suddenly passed away to open a wedding venue ranch where she encounters Ethan . Ethan is a cattle rancher owner leasing a portion of Laney’s land as per his prior agreement with Laney’s relatives. Ethan is a single dad to the most adorable twins and decides to trade his handyman expertise in exchange for Laney babysitting his twins. It was fascinating watching Laney fight for a new lease at life and Ethan trying not to fall in love with Laney and holding onto hope that she will renew the lease. The book tackled singlehood ,fatherhood, grief and loss well and renewed hope in better days and second chance
October: The Christmas Switch by Zoey Marie Jackson
Mini Book Review: I love a good Christmas Story and as someone that had never heard or read of Zoey Marie Jackson I was skeptical going it to this book but she proved me wrong. How do you keep a a secret to protect your sister when everything you have ever prayed for is right next door. Chanel decides to swap places during Christmas with her sister and that seems easy enough but next door is an adorable family man who has the most fun loving dog. Sometimes promises don’t guarantee the heart will not be involved. This was a heartwarming story about second chances, the goodness of God and the mysterious way God works.
September : Marcus Rashford (Little People, Big Dreams) by Maria Isabel Sanchez Vegara
Mini book review: The book tells the Marcus Rashford story from humble beginnings to international superstar on and off the field. The author highlights what kind of family he came from ( a loving and supportive family) and how his talent was honed from childhood. I loved the fact that we see his resilience, his hunger and his passion in the few pages. Every child and child at heart that has ever needed a sign to push on must read this book.
Mini review :The wife before follows Samira Wilder a young woman in her 20s with the most adorable brother but cannot keep a job. Her life changes when she meets pro golfer Roland Graham at a party and has a whirlwind relationship. The only catch or dent in the story is that his ex-wife is dead and he is a suspect. Nothing puts a halt in ever after than being suspicious of your spouse. The twists , the turns and the characters made this thriller spicy and I loved it. I recommend this thriller!
If you are triggered by suicide and a spouse’s death, I urge you to go into this book with caution.
There comes a time in one’s life when one read a book that completely puts one through myriad emotions of sadness, grief, and long sighs. Someday, Maybe is that book! I went into it not expecting to be haunted by it or thinking of it long after it was done.
Do you ever cry so deeply that every tear tears you apart? That is me with this book. Someday, Maybe tells the story of Eve who is left utterly devastated when her husband commits suicide on New Year’s Eve. His death opens the door to what comes after when one loses someone to death. We follow her as she navigates family, a mother-in-law, a career, and unexpected good news that doesn’t look like good news.
The book is in parts and we follow Eve and Quentin from university up to the point she says goodbye to him at his final resting place. Onyi did a wonderful job of bringing out the family dynamic in the form of Eve’s Mother who prayed and insisted on prayer for solution, Nate for being a devoted brother with an over the top girlfriend and Gloria the first born who saddled every sibling ringing true to deputy parenting.
I love how Onyi brought out the power of friendship and how Eve’s friends showed up for her when it counted and I love how her new ‘hobby’ saved as therapy for her. Onyi delivered and I cannot say enough that this book was truly magnificent.
Do you recommend this book? Yes! Go buy it now
Will you read more books by the author? Yes! Without missing a beat
Character/s that drove me insane : Aspen (the mother-in-law)
Character that made me laugh: Drew
Love note: It’s okay to not be okay! There is no shame in asking for help when the world seems loud and you don’t know what to do. Reach out to someone and get help. And to those in therapy I see you, I love you and I am rooting for you.
I get it! The first date is the worst because you absolutely have to put your best foot forward (left or right nobody really knows) but you have to. There is pressure to look amazing, chew the right way, say something relatively funny and look like the well-mannered human your parents raised. But what happens when you are madly in like and your human is the cream cheese topping to your carrot cake but you are fraud in love and caring in love because you skipped Gary Chapman’s love languages. In case you have been living under a rock , Love languages were brought to our attention by Gary Chapman and they are kind of a big deal. It’s so easy to love someone in the language we speak because that’s what we know but is it that hard to love someone else right? My love language is words of affirmation and one could say I bloom but I prefer I glow when I get a sweet morning message, a sticky note on my notebook and being told that I mean the world to my carrot cake. Before I proceed I have been guilty of loving people in my love language because I thought that’s how we love others. I failed to notice that some prefer acts of service (wash the car, offer to do the errand, do the dishes,) , gifts (get them flowers, a thoughtful gifts), physical touch ( a hug, a kiss) and quality time such as a lunch date , dinner or just a movie. Do love languages actually work? I absolutely believe we all deserve to feel loved and unseen . So kindly forgive me as I head to my affirmation board ….
HeyAnci 